The Last Stop - A Closing Thought From Between Stations Magazine

Bend a Little: The Skill That Makes Life Easier to Live

You don't need the perfect plan — you just need to know how to roll with the one you've got

When I was growing up, I loved the cartoon where Wile E. Coyote would shoot an Acme cannonball at the Road Runner. He was certain this was the time he'd finally get him. Wile E. gets Road Runner in his sights and lets the cannonball fly. Road Runner, running down the road just having fun (at full speed, mind you), sees this and... adjusts. He stops. He ducks. He steps aside. In short, he alters his plan. Without fail, the cannonball finds its way into a big, curved cutout and gets flung right back at Wile E. Mr. Coyote, stunned that his "certain" plan didn't work, makes no adjustment whatsoever and is soon seeing stars. When will that coyote ever learn?

And guess what? We're all a little bit Wile E. Coyote sometimes. We build a plan, get completely certain about it, and then act shocked when life sends it flying back at us. Here's something that happens to almost everyone at some point: you build a plan, and the plan doesn't stick. Maybe you had a timeline for when things "should" happen, or a picture in your head of how a certain year was going to go. Then something shifts, and suddenly the picture in your head doesn't match what's happening.

You've got two ways to handle that moment. You can hold on tight to the original plan and get frustrated every time life doesn't match it. Or you can loosen your grip a little and figure out what to do with what's in front of you. That second option is what flexibility looks like, and it might be one of the most useful skills you can build for yourself.

Why It's So Hard to Let Go of the Plan

A clear plan feels safe. It gives you something solid to hold onto, so when life pushes back against it, the first instinct is usually to push back harder and work extra hard to force things back on track.

I knew that I wanted to live in Europe, and my heart was set on Spain. I was fully in a "Spain or Bust" state of mind. That was my certain plan, and I started working toward it. But while doing my research, I started noticing things that made me think a little differently. I checked, and double-checked, and eventually realized Spain — while still a great country — wasn't going to be the best fit for me. I stepped back, widened my search, dug in a little more, and landed on France instead. That pivot turned out to be one of the best moves I've made, and France has been amazing.

Holding onto a plan that's already changed shape takes a lot of energy, and it can keep you stuck fighting for something instead of dealing with what's actually going on. Kevin Cronin, the guy who wrote "Roll with the Changes" for REO Speedwagon, put it best — the song's basically an anthem for embracing life's curveballs and moving forward anyway.  So being flexible isn't the "giving up" move. It's the move that tends to work out better in the long run.

What Being Flexible Really Means

Being flexible doesn't mean you stop having goals or direction. It means you hold your goals a little more loosely, so they can bend without breaking. Instead of giving up on the goal completely when the timeline doesn't happen, you ask yourself what you want in the first place. Once you know that, you can find other paths that get you there, even if they look nothing like the one you first imagined.

It shows up in small, everyday ways too. Your weekend plans fall apart, so you come up with a new plan instead of writing the whole day off. You try something new even though it wasn't part of "the plan." A friendship changes over time, and instead of holding onto how it used to be, you let it grow into something different. None of this looks like a big deal on its own. But over time, it adds up to someone who can handle change without falling apart every time something shifts.

Why This Makes Life Better, Not Just Easier

Here's the part we sometimes miss: being flexible isn't just a way to survive hard times. It's a way to end up somewhere better than you planned. When you stay open to a different path, you sometimes find things you never would have found by sticking to the original one — like an entire country you weren't even considering.

A good life usually isn't the result of one perfect plan followed step by step. It's more like a bunch of small adjustments along the way — noticing when something isn't working, staying curious about what else could work, and trusting yourself enough to follow that new direction, even when it wasn't part of the original map.

How to Get Better at Bending

You don't need a big crisis to start practicing this. It can be as simple as asking "what else could I try?" instead of "why isn't this working?" the next time a plan falls apart. (I can tell you firsthand — my initial plan falling apart led to something even better.) Do that enough times, and it turns into a habit. And that habit builds a kind of steadiness — not the kind where nothing ever goes wrong, but the kind where you know you can land on your feet no matter what happens.

My "Spain or Bust" plan is probably still out there, filed in some drawer marked Certain at the Time. But I ducked when the research told me to duck, I stepped aside when the timeline stopped making sense, and I ended up in France — which, it turns out, was the big, curved wall I needed the whole time. Plans are going to fall apart. That part's non-negotiable. The only real question is whether you're the guy watching his cannonball come back around, or the one who saw it coming and moved.

So, here's to being the Road Runner and not the Coyote. Somewhere out there, ol' Wile E. is still waiting on his next Acme delivery, fully convinced this cannonball is the one that finally works. He never adjusts. He never learns. He just keeps getting launched into a canyon, dusting himself off, and ordering the same doomed contraption from the same catalog. Meep Meep, buddy — some of us have places to be.

As always, slow down, look around, and enjoy the journey…between stations.